One of the gifts of divorce and break ups is that it teaches you a whole lot about yourself....You learn how to navigate the 7 Stages of Grief....
Expectations: My linear brain thought it would happen in this order....
Stage 1: Desperate for Answers
Stage 2: Denial
Stage 3: Bargaining
Stage 4: Relapse
Stage 5: Anger
Stage 6: Initial Acceptance
Stage 7: Redirected Hope
Reality: What really happened...
Stage 1: Desperate for Answers
Stage 2: Denial
Stage 4: Relapse
Stage 1: Desperate for Answers
Stage 3: Bargaining
Stage 5: Anger
Stage 3: Bargaining
Stage 4: Relapse
Stage 6: Initial Acceptance
Stage 4: Relapse
Stage 7: Redirected Hope
Stage 4: Relapse
Stage 5: Anger
Stage 6: Initial Acceptance
Stage 7: Redirected Hope
The hidden gifts of breaking down through this experience is I tapped into my emotions-sadness, grief, anger, acceptance, calm, and forgiveness. Before this experience I wasn't "allowed" to feel sad or be "angry" that was only allowed in movies and with adults.
When I was able to be angry this ignited a drive in me that I've never experienced before. This power that emerged from tapping into my anger lead to "deserving" better in all aspects of my life, no longer settling for less.
The breakdown to breakthrough to the next level of my life came after I fully accepted the situation and letting him go which resulted in breaking my limiting beliefs around what was possible. For exampled I was never being able to run more than 3 miles in one workout to completing 2 half marathons (13.1 miles) 2 years in a row and attracting my now fiance who shares my core values of growth, integrity, family, relationships, and learning.
The gift of a breakup sometimes forces us to step into the next version of ourselves, it's like a sprouting seed, you need the right conditions to breakthrough the outer shell to to blossom into the beautiful flower or fruit.
Growth is an uncomfortable experience but to live a rich and fulfilling life is not about comfort or ease, a rich life is a life lived with passion and aliveness. A rich life requires us to own ALL of us, all the beautiful, the ugly, and everything in between. Take these opportunities to embrace ALL of you. Tap into your emotions to Live more Fully!
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